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What is Normal?

What is Normal?

Normal.. we’re all normal really! My husband and I are proof that opposites attract- really we are two totally different individual people, who are totally normal. So what is produced when our respective genetic material is fused together? Four very different children, but with a common thread running though. You could look at each as a baby and know what family they belonged to, but as individuals they are all very different personalities, unique, yet normal.

Here are some of the things normal children do: shout, cry, whine, fight, not listen, run, make mess, disobey, talk back, know how to embarrass you at the wrong moment….

American clinical psychologist Wendy Mogel writes in her book “The Blessings of a Skinned Knee”, about working in LA. She would have parents come with their children keen for a diagnosis to explain their child’s behaviour. For the most part the children were perfectly normal, their behaviour was nothing not common in an average child. However, the parents were keen to explain their child’s naughty behaviour as ADHD, for example. Parents were wanting their child to be perfect, and when they were not being perfect there must be a problem. In a recent study it was discovered 1 in 10 American children have ADHD… really? I don’t doubt ADHD exists, and I know from working with children who have needed ritalin the amazing benefits the drug can have, when used properly. What I doubt is that 10% of American children are ADHD.

I am trying to learn how to deal with each child’s own brand of normal. Discover how to parent the individual. And remember we are not creating perfect models of humanity, we are raising children, and it can be messy and hard, and we will make mistakes… and that is alright… regardless what the parenting books make us think their is no definitive manuel how to do it!

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