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Sometimes the Answer is Simply Grit and Determination

Sometimes the Answer is Simply Grit and Determination

Mums who have been on this parenting road a while, who have a few children under their belt will at some point or another have the conversation “what was the hardest point?” Meaning what number of children is the most difficult! From my experience in such conversations the general consensus is 2/3. For me the hardest was 2.

When The Soldier Boy was an infant, The Girl was only 2, Mr Man was at that time working shifts, and often had church commitments in the evenings he was not working. Those were hard months. I could have weeks where most nights I was alone for dinner and bedtime. That was just how it was then.

I can remember come dinner time often going about doing all that HAD to be done in tears- my daughter had to be fed and gotten ready for bed, the baby was crying (he cried a lot), dishes needed cleaned, the house felt in disarray. And I was lonely- infants and 2-year olds are not great conversationalists. I felt overwhelmed by all the demands these two little people brought to my life. I felt guilty that I felt so depressed and unhappy. I felt I was not doing enough, or that what I was doing was never good enough. And here’s the thing: a lot, even most, of the mothers I have spoken to have seasons where they feel exactly the same (and I suspect all mothers go through times like this.)

I remember one evening crying out to God for some help. I felt so very desperate, and hoped that the door bell would ring and someone would appear to help me with the words, “I felt the Holy Spirit say to come and give you a hand.” My miracle didn’t happen- ever! Instead God was using this time to work in me grit and determination.

What happened was, despite my exhaustion, I made it through. When the one more task, seemed one more too many I would say to myself, “this will not kill you, it will only take 5 mins, then it will be done.” That may sound pretty extreme, that was where I was. And through those dark days I grew in strength, in stamina. And the season did changed. The children grew, and with that their needs were less demanding.

In those months and years where you feel like you are surrounded by very young children it can seem never ending, and the demands of the days like they will crush you. But those times do change, even though when you are in the middle of it you can’t see how or when.

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