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The Dangers of Comparing Ourselves to Others

The Dangers of Comparing Ourselves to Others

I stood grating parmesan cheese, for yet another dinner, my body aching with tiredness and my soul weary. The noise of children playing in the garden on a summer’s evening. As I prepared food I thought how I wanted someone else to do this for me, but how that was not going to happen. I thought how I didn’t want my tiredness to overflow into grumpiness towards the children over dinner.

It’s easy at times like these, the times when the mundane drudgery of the everyday, when the relentlessness of daily life becomes overwhelming, to compare ourselves to other people. To think of that friend who appears to have it all together, to have an endless supply of energy. To compare ourselves to the women we know surrounded by support and help, who has scheduled days off, and “me time” on a regular basis. The problem with comparing ourselves to these women is firstly it does not help us, it adds to our grumpiness. It can also lead to bitterness, if we are not careful. Such thoughts do not change our circumstances, but they make the circumstances harder to cope with.

Secondly, such women do not actually exist. We take someone we know and create a distorted image in our minds of what they are like, what their children are like, what their husbands are like, and what their circumstances are like. All of which, at best is a charactercher of reality; at worse a complete deception. The truth is every signal one of us have days where we cannot cope. And there are times where we do just need to grit our teeth until bed time.

The devil wants us to believe the lie that that family are better, that that women is a better mother, that those children are more obedient, that their marriage is stronger….. the list goes on. But that’s what it is: a lie.

Knowing Your Own Identity

One remedy for this is to know our own identity. Keeping our vision fixed on what God has called us to do. God has called us to raise the children He has given us, with their unique personalities. He is in control of our marriage, our finances, and where we live. Therefore he will give us the grace to cope. It is like David trying to fight in Saul’s armour. He couldn’t do it. David was not Saul, he was David. David had to fight Goliath as David, only then could he win. We will not be the mothers our children need if we try to be someone we are not. We will not be the wives our husbands need if we try to be someone else. Instead we will be worn out and disillusioned.

God has made us unique, a work of art, and He wants us to be who He has created us to be. “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10. I love this verse. The word for workmanship is poiÄ“ma, the same Greek word we get the word poem from. We have been lovingly created by God, to be unique. We ought not to compare ourselves to another lovingly created perosn who has their own role to play.

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